"I want a paternity test."
I usually don’t reblog these but oh my god
i love retail robin
That bird is on point.
I have finally found my spirit animal.
I am the retail robin. He is me. We are one.
I got out of my high volume retail job for a reason
LOOK AT THIS CUTE ASS MOTHER FUCKING PIGLET!!!
So my facebook friend just posted this pic with this text….Well, I just witnessed blatant racial injustice with my own eyes. I was getting in my car after exiting a store when a young black man stumbled past me and collapsed against the store wall. When I got out to see if he was okay, a group of white people came rushing over, one of whom was a 20-something white woman who declared in distress, “I ran a red light and hit him with my car!” People immediately assured her that SHE would be okay, meanwhile the young man is writhing in pain on the ground, pants leg torn, tears running down his face. When the police arrived and the young woman explained what happened, it was suggested to her that maybe the light had been yellow and that the young man had “darted out into the street into her path.” I was floored. I said, “But she just SAID she ran the red light and hit him in the intersection!”
"OH MY GOD! THE CAR IS DAMAGED! YOU POOR CAR!"
102 YEARS AGO
THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW
I’m sure they are very chill right now.
You might even say they’re…
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT
remember this show where this one dude had to guess what is he smelling and he put his nose into someones asshole and went “smells like ass” and the commentator went “correct” and this dude did the funniest expression ever. wheres that gif
yall need to go outside for real
But if we go outside we might step on grass.
where are the notes this is beautiful
the mobile version is amazing, click on itThis is amazing
"What are you twelve"
Yeah on a scale of one to ten bye
DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
When anti-choicers get mad that personal beliefs have no ground in a debate regarding someone’s reproductive rights.